"I Just Can't Look- It's Killing Me..."

My mind has been extremely busy as of late- thinking all the crazy, jumbled thoughts it's been thinking, and then having to sort them all out. I want to get out of this place - don't get me wrong, I love (some) of the people, my family, the people I play softball with, but the scenery and bs makes me sick. I just wish I had my life more together- that I knew what I was doing, what I wanted to do... what I could do.

We went hiking about a week ago. We went around the North Shore and hit various camp sites, it's pretty fun. I've never been to Duluth before, I really liked it there, I'm contemplated moving up there... Where I'd really like to go is Grand Rapids. You see, there's this college out there, and I love it... but it costs more than what I have to spend... so I guess I'll settle for an in-state state college, if that makes sense.

I played my first softball game since last August. I forgot how amazing the world looks in a panoramic view from behind home plate. Or the exhilaration of ripping your mask off and snatching the speeding ball out of the air, only to collide with the accelerating black guy diving at your feet. Or the hearing the crack of the bat, only to grab the ball and send it to the base as fast as possible- knowing it was your throw that made that runner go sit in the dug out- just talking about it gives me the chills.

Maybe I'll stick around for the summer...