"I Just Can't Look- It's Killing Me..."

My mind has been extremely busy as of late- thinking all the crazy, jumbled thoughts it's been thinking, and then having to sort them all out. I want to get out of this place - don't get me wrong, I love (some) of the people, my family, the people I play softball with, but the scenery and bs makes me sick. I just wish I had my life more together- that I knew what I was doing, what I wanted to do... what I could do.

We went hiking about a week ago. We went around the North Shore and hit various camp sites, it's pretty fun. I've never been to Duluth before, I really liked it there, I'm contemplated moving up there... Where I'd really like to go is Grand Rapids. You see, there's this college out there, and I love it... but it costs more than what I have to spend... so I guess I'll settle for an in-state state college, if that makes sense.

I played my first softball game since last August. I forgot how amazing the world looks in a panoramic view from behind home plate. Or the exhilaration of ripping your mask off and snatching the speeding ball out of the air, only to collide with the accelerating black guy diving at your feet. Or the hearing the crack of the bat, only to grab the ball and send it to the base as fast as possible- knowing it was your throw that made that runner go sit in the dug out- just talking about it gives me the chills.

Maybe I'll stick around for the summer...

I'm Dreaming of a...

I had the craziest dream last night.

I (did you know that "dreampt" isn't a word?) was Justin Morneau's sister, and I was taking a shower with him and Joe Mauer in the locker room (no worries- we were wearing our swimming suits!). Apparently when Justin and I left to go play scrabble Joe was murdered and I ended up being the one who discovered his body. I was therefore accused of his murder and all I had for my defense was that I was in the next room playing scrabble and that I wrote in my journal that Justin was my brother. I told my mum about my dream and she told me it must have been a nightmare.

As I was marinating my shrimp last night, my mom told me that the Twins were playing Texas the day I was born - and that's who they play this year on my birthday!! Isn't that crazy? I'm planning the craziest birthday bash. I'm so excited. Yay!!

Remington

He's got the saddest eyes I've ever seen, maybe that's what captures my heart every time I look at him. We're going rollerblading this afternoon, I love the way he hops!

I'm cooking dinner tonight; we're having this amazing salad, shrimp fajitas and I haven't decided what I'm making for dessert yet. :)

I just found out that the Twins play on my birthday, so I hope I can go see them, and I hope they win. My mom always tells me she was watching a Twins game on the day I was born... and that they won. That kind of makes me happy.

My life isn't where I want it to be right now, but I think I'll be okay. I never really know what I want anyways.